This chapter will be told from Raina’s point of view.
That morning I woke up and took a pregnancy test before Fin even got out of bed. I was so happy, and a little shocked when it came out positive. As happy as I was however, today was the day that Fin was going to be leaving. I needed to tell him, but at the same time how was I going to do it?
Over breakfast I thought about it, and still couldn’t figure out how or when I was going to do it. So I decided I’d go over to my friend’s house after Fin left and see if she had any ideas how I could tell him before he left without totally upsetting him.
Walking out the front door I saw her leaving as well. “Hey Yaz! Wait up!” I called to her. “Oh hey Raina, what’s going on? I was just checking to see if our mail had come yet.” She replied with a smile. “Well I have some news, good news, but I don’t know how to break in to Fin before they leave today.” I started, then paused. “Well? Are you just going to keep me waiting??” she asked eagerly.
“I’m PREGNANT!” I blurted out finally. “Oh my gosh really? REALLY? ME TOO!” She said jumping up and down. “This is great, but you still haven’t told Fin? What are you waiting for?” She asked quizzically.
Before I could say anything she reached forward and started rubbing my belly. “Oh Raina this is perfect! We will be able to keep each other company and get all big and round while our husbands are gone! And then when they come back we’ll have a complete family!” She said smiling. “Yeah I don’t know what I’m scared of, I guess I just don’t want him to worry while he’s gone, you know?” I replied.
I decided to stay with Yazzie for the rest of the day, didn’t have anything else to do anyway but worry about the upcoming deployment. So we sat and talked about babies and watched crazy talk shows where people tried to guess the father of their kids and other strange nonsense. Time flew by and we both realized it was time to go say goodbye.
“I’m so not ready for this, Yaz.” I said once we had arrived. “Me either, but hopefully we can make the best of these next few months.” she replied, trying to assure me, and herself. “What if–“I started to say, but couldn’t bring myself to finish. “Don’t even think that way Raina! They will be fine! I’m sure of it! They have to be!” she scolded. Finally we saw them coming out of the building, this was it, time to tell Fin he was going to be a daddy!
Fin came up and wrapped me in his arms. “I have something to tell you,” I whispered into his ear “you’re going to be a father!” He squeezed me even tighter, and I could tell he was trying not to cry. I knew this was going to make things harder, but I didn’t want him to leave not knowing. “I love you Mrs. Groves.” Fin finally said, choking a bit on his words.
Our last kiss was bittersweet, and I took the time to imprint into my mind the way it felt to be in his arms and feel his lips touch mine. I felt the tears coming, but did my best to swallow them for the moment. I wanted this time to be as happy as possible and didn’t want him to worry about me.
Finally it was time for him to go, they were calling for everyone to grab their gear and get to the bus. “I promise I will call you as soon as I can, please take care of yourself and our baby.” Fin said holding back his own tears. “I promise I will, please take care Fin. I don’t know what I would do without you, I love you!” I replied. “I love you too Raina, more than you’ll ever know.” And with that he turned and left. I stood and watched until he disappeared onto the bus with the others.
I managed to hold back my tears all the way home. But walking into the house knowing that Fin would not be home for at least 6 months just about killed me. I could feel my emotions growing stronger and despite trying to hold back my feelings I knew I was about to explode.
Finally it happened and I just sobbed uncontrollably into my hands. Every time I thought I was done another wave would hit me and it would start all over again. After what seemed like eternity I actually ran out of tears. Then I was so tired I just wanted to nap, and hope maybe when I woke up I would feel better.
I couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs and sleep in our bed. It would have brought in even more memories so I curled up on our couch and before I knew it I was out like a light. Lady curled in her bed next to me, guarding me I suppose. Either way it was comforting to know that I wasn’t totally alone.