This morning I woke up bright and early. Today was the day I go in and find out what’s wrong with me, why I’ve been feeling so sick lately and gaining weight despite my diet and exercise routine. I keep thinking it’s going to be the worst, a thyroid issue. Then my life will be a constant battle trying to keep my hormone levels in check. I had mulled over every possible problem and this one seemed the most likely for my symptoms. Needless to say I was extremely anxious about this appointment. Walking into the hospital I began to feel dizzy and thought I was going to pass out. I just knew this moment was going to change my life forever. Of course I had no idea how right I was in thinking that. My tests had made it back and the Dr had a huge smile across her face when she announced “Congrats Denise! You’re pregnant!”. At this point I almost did pass out, but the Dr and her nurse caught me before I hit the floor. This was definitely not planned. I didn’t want a child yet! And worst of all?! Who’s was it?? Walking out of the hospital I was still trying to process the information that I had just been given. A baby! Me?! Pregnant?? Why now? Why right after I lose my virginity to Marc and accidentally sleep with my sisters husband did this have to happen!? What was I going to do? How was I to know who’s child this was? My head was spinning so fast with all the questions I just about passed out again. Deep breaths Denise, one…two…three, ah that’s better. But really what was I going to do? My father had just passed away everyone was pretty upset and now I was going to slam this on everyone? It’s not like I was going to be able to hide it much longer the Dr did an ultrasound and said I was about 5 months along, which would be correct considering my discrepancies. As I arrived home I saw Mom had called out someone to repair the dishwasher finally. For the past few weeks we had all just been hand washing our dishes because Mom didn’t want to try to fix it and didn’t want Marc or anyone else for that matter to try. I began to tear up thinking about the fact it was that thing that killed my father! He wasn’t a young guy by any means but certainly still had quite a few years left in him. Now my mother was to grow old all alone. I sat down with Marc for lunch and while he scarfed down his food I couldn’t seem to take one bite of my own. He didn’t even seem to notice that I was upset, hadn’t asked about my appointment or anything. Did he forget or did he just not care? My emotions were about to go over the edge again and I just knew I wasn’t going to be able to eat so I picked up my bowl and went to toss it in the trash when finally I got a reaction from him.
No sooner had he stood up and asked me what was wrong, and I had flung myself into his arms sobbing. “It’s ok Denise, I know you miss your Dad, but it will be ok.” Marc said trying to calm me down. “It’s not just that.” I cried, “You don’t care about me anymore! You didn’t even ask about my appointment this morning! You’ve been completely ignoring me and–” I paused not sure if I should continue or not, but then I finished with, “I’m having a baby Marc.” As I waited for his response I got even more nervous. Why was he being so quiet??“Pregnant?” Marc asked, a smile forming on his face. I nodded my head and wiped the tears from my eyes. “Well this is GREAT news Denise! I couldn’t be more happy!” Marc said. “You really think so?” I asked, I hadn’t expected such a positive reaction from him. Afterall he wanted to be a police officer and hadn’t even made it halfway through school yet. I figured he would want to wait, especially since we weren’t even married yet. “Of course I do! And I guess I should tell you why I’ve been so quiet lately.” Marc confided. “I don’t love you any less Denise, in fact I love you more each and every day. I’ve finally realized there’s no one else I’d rather spend my life with, so I’m asking you. Will you marry me?” Marc said to me in such a loving way I felt like crying all over again. How could I betray his trust and love the way I did? I had to do everything I could to make this up to him. “Of course I will!” I replied finally holding out my hand so he could put the ring on. I couldn’t believe how big it was! He must have paid a fortune for it! I began to cry, tears of joy and sadness for what I had done and for everything else that had happened in the last couple months. Marc looked at me with his pitiful puppy dog eyes. I guess he was wondering why I was crying since I had said yes. As he stood up I wrapped my arms around him again and said, “I love you so much Marc, thank you for staying by me through this tough time.” he massaged my back and whispered, “I will always be there for you, good times, bad times. I am yours forever. I can’t wait to have a family with you and begin out life together as a husband and wife.” Of course I began crying again! But I assured him I was really happy, just pregnancy hormones getting the best of me. The truth was that even though I was happy I felt incredibly horrible about everything. I had to tell him but how would I even begin? And what would Cyrus do to me? I didn’t want any harm to come to my unborn child. I would have to wait, at least until the baby was born. Life hadn’t been easy on any of us since Dad had passed. I felt especially sorry for my little brother. He would cry and cry just out of no where, in fact I think I caught him crying more that I even cried when it came down to it. Daylan was always such a happy child, I didn’t like seeing him this way. It just wasn’t healthy, I really hope it doesn’t last much longer. If it does I may have to talk to Mom about getting him some sort of therapy. Not that Mom had been any better herself. She didn’t cry in front of us if she could help it, but since he died she hadn’t set foot in their bedroom. She had asked me to move all her things to mine and Danielle’s old room(which I was still sleeping in) and slept in her bed. I wouldn’t have minded so much except I sort of liked my privacy and now that I was pregnant I really wanted to be alone. I still had my alone time when I played my instruments, so I guess it wasn’t too bad having Mom as a room-mate. I knew it was temporary anyway since once I announced the pregnancy and engagement we would be allowed to move to my parents old room which then meant Mom could take the guest house since Marc would be out of it. I really cherished my time practicing my instruments. I was currently focused on the drums Dad had left me. When I played them I just felt closer to him again, almost like he was still alive, it was a great feeling. Mom finally decided to host the memorial service for Dad exactly six weeks after he had passed. I had been waiting for this day to come, not only so we could all mourn his loss and hopefully begin to move forward but this was the day I was going to share my good news in hopes to shed some happiness on everyone as well. I just hoped that it worked out that way and Mom didn’t have a huge fit!