Gen 4 Chapter 3

Children have it so good, they are so innocent, I really envy my little brother. Not only was he able to eat his spaghetti oblivious to the burnt slaughtered cow while I tried to choke down my dry toast and jam, but he was also able to sleep at night without feeling like he had totally betrayed everyone he knew and cared about. This was not the way I had envisioned my life, this wasn’t me. I wish I could erase the past and start fresh, if only that was possible. No one else had seemed to notice that I had been very quiet since that night weeks ago. I guess I should be thankful no one was questioning my strange behavior, I don’t think I would have known what to tell them if they had asked. On top of it all I still had not apologized to Danielle or seen her since my night of drunken stupidity. The only time I could let go of all the bad things I had done and what my life had become was when I was alone in my music room practicing on my instruments. No one ever came in here but me, my parents were kind enough to not only have given me Dad’s drums and guitar but also bought me a brand new keyboard and bass so I could achieve my ultimate goal which was to master playing all these instruments. Growing up around my parents who were very talented musicians I could feel the magic of getting lost in a song. I loved watching and listening to them but as I got older I wanted to be able to reproduce the sound on my own. Music came very easily to me and even though my parents told me I could probably make it big on my own and become very famous I really just wanted to do it for fun and to make myself happy, I didn’t ever want my music to become work.Unfortunately I couldn’t live in my music room forever and had to face reality sometime. I decided once again to try to see my sister and at least come clean about the initial incident with me swimming drunk and naked in her pool with her husband. Yes, husband. They had gotten married one night out of the nowhere. This time I was smart and took Marc along just in case. Cyrus was the only one there again but offered for us both to come in and wait for Danielle. I really tried my best to be happy and normal around Cyrus. I even congratulated him about getting married to my sister and made a big fuss over it, asked him about future plans, children and such even though inside I was screaming. I don’t know why he made me feel this way. I loved Marc and really all Cyrus was in reality was a huge jerk! Still he gave me the butterflies I never really had with Marc and I hated myself for feeling this way. I couldn’t believe my little charade was going just as I had hoped it would. Marc didn’t suspect anything and I was glad for that, still I was a little upset that even Cyrus didn’t seem to be affected by me the way I was with him. He seemed so upset when I told him we could never be more than just friends but now it’s like that night never existed. He told us Danielle was working late but shouldn’t be much longer so we could sit and relax while he cleaned up from work. So Marc and I took a seat on the couch to watch some shows and I quietly prayed that Cyrus would take a long time cleaning himself up and we would be long gone by the time he got out. The less time I had to spend around him the better. I was already ill when he wasn’t around and his presence did not help the matter at all. I just wish he had felt something for me, I don’t know if that would change things but it would be nice to know he cared.  Of course just as I got comfortable my phone rang. It was Mom, but why was she calling me? I mean she knew that Marc and I were over at Danielle’s and we really hadn’t been here too long. I answered with a “Hey Mom” expecting to hear her cheerful voice and instead heard nothing but sobbing and broken words saying, “Come–home–now–something–bad–has–happened.” before I was about to ask what was wrong when I heard her then whisper, “You’re father is dead.” I couldn’t believe my ears, I then quickly hung up the phone, motioned to Marc and took off out the front door leaving Cyrus wondering what was going on now. I couldn’t believe my Dad was gone. Suddenly all the things going on in my life on top of this just became too much for me and I began crying silently to myself. Why did this have to happen!? My Dad was a good person, he never hurt anyone! It should have been ME!! I was such an awful person for what I had done, why not me? I will never understand the reasons life takes some and leaves others, it’s just not fair in my opinion. As soon as I got home I saw Daylan crying and ran over to him. My poor little brother! I scooped him up into a big hug and refused to let go. We stood there crying on each others shoulders for what felt like an eternity until Mom walked in to explain what had happened and what was going to happen now. We then shooed Daylan off to his room for bed even though we both knew he probably would find sleep next to impossible after the events of tonight. Mom told me she had left Dad working once again on the dishwasher in the kitchen which always seemed to be broken. Even after his close call he was determined to fix it himself. She said the next thing she knew she heard him call out for her and so she went in to check on him, figuring he just needed her to bring him another tool or something simple like that. But of course that is not what she found as she entered the room. She said that by the time she got there it was too late, he was gone. Of course Mom called 911 and tried to revive him but it was no use. The electric shock had done its damage and there was no getting him back now. Mom was beating herself up for his death thinking if she had just insisted they call a professional in to fix it, or maybe if she had stayed in the room with him that things would have been different. As I looked at my Mom I couldn’t help but notice how she seemed to have aged so much so quickly. I tried to hug her and she pushed me back and ran off to the bathroom. It made me feel so helpless that I couldn’t even so much as comfort my Mom after all that had happened. I decided I might as well try to go to bed and get some rest since I had my Dr’s appointment in the morning. I really hope all my tests come back ok, I could really use some good news right about now.

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4 Responses to Gen 4 Chapter 3

  1. Antebello says:

    Losing a husband or a parent is always hard, especially if you’re only a child and can’t fully comprehend what is going on. 😦

  2. OnendOnliYazzie says:

    Cyrus is a jerk! How can he go off and marry Danielle after he…and ugh! My anger at him aside that really really REALLY sucks that Trent is gone 😦 I loved him. It sucks he’s not going to get to see his grandchildren!

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